Wish I were Heather

Hello frens, I’m glad you found your way here. It’s nesha 👋🏽 welcome back to my home on the internet! In this post, I will write a short journal of my life, write about topics such as how I’ve been doing, about my favorite things, and stuff that’s been stuck in my mind some recent times.

It feels weird sharing this kind of stuff, but I always heard that it’s always weird doing anything for the first time. Also FYI, I’m not planning to make this post depressing, not in the mood to ruin this lovely day, but I guess I should say that there’s a chance for this post to be depressing because that’s just the nature of me … so there’s that.

Anyways, I hope you'll like reading this! ✨

■ Mood.

I’ve been playing the original song of the cover above on repeat for the past couple of weeks. It’s safe to say that it’s been my mood for the last couple of weeks, too. Now is the weekend and I don’t feel much of an excitement. I wish I could say that I’m surprised, but I feel like it’s been like this for most of my life; always wake up with red in my eyes, and forever tired even though I’ve only been sitting the whole day every day.

This song reminds me of a cold, rainy wind passing by the beach; and even more, reminds me of my girlfriend that I used to share a sweater with. She always loved my sore eyes, always had that fun vibes, and I like the way she laughed; I remember when we both found out that she started to grow facial hair before me. I liked the way she dances, I liked that we never slept before five in the morning, and I liked how huggable she is when she sleeps, too.

It’s sad that we don’t talk anymore. She fancies some of my clothes, so I left her a few when I left. I wish now I could tell her that my sweaters only made for two. It’s not like I want her to get back to my arms again, but you know, I just wanted to know how she’s been, how she dresses, or who she’s with now.


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■ Been about two weeks!

So, it’s only been about a week or two since I decided to write a personal blog, and so far, it’s been so fun spending my night time writing stuff that I don’t usually write. I opened a lot of tabs, more than I usually open, and I visited a lot of websites that I don’t usually visit before. And there are already 50+ people following 🥳 I’m so grateful!

There’s a thought that’s making me excited: I think writing a personal blog can become a way for me to understand myself better, to even learn more about people around me. I found that I’ve been more open and write easier than before. So I think this can be a way for me to grow a better life; live one happier, healthier, and of course, more productive!

To be honest, I thought what I would write was going to be depressing posts about broken hearts and fantasies about how the world burn, because that’s actually how I see the world. Even the site tagline of this blog was “Autistic thoughts and prayers of a grown-up” interpreting that this won’t be just a diary of a normal, typical blogger.

But one thing led to another, and I’m glad that I decided to follow this intuition that led me to write about the positive side of my life. It’s not that now I’m promising you to never write about anything depressing, because there’s actually have been a few drafts already where I talk about broken hearts, and about the war between angels and demons that destroys the world. 😈

In one way or another, writing has been my primary form of expression ever since I first learned how to type and hold a pen. And unfortunately, my world has been much filled with abasement and despair.

But from what I’ve been posting here for the past week, made me stumbled upon a few paths- some options to take. And just like I said before, I have decided and at the same time, I am hoping that this blog can become a way for me to get a better understanding of myself and other people.

In other words, I’m so glad that I’m doing this. Thank you for every single one of you who has decided to follow this weird blog. I don’t know where this direction will take us, but I’m so glad that you’re here. 😊

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■ The night of.

Early this week, I watched an American eight-part crime drama television miniseries, named The Night Of. The ending was quite somber, considering the rest of the chronological narrative was always under a lot of suspense. But the show was such great work, and I think it’s one of the best storytelling that takes a courtroom as the main narrative connecting all the events in the story.

In case you’re wondering what you should watch next, and if you think this kind of show is right in your alley, then I’d gladly recommend you to watch The Night Of.

On the anime side, I finished watching the House of Five Leaves, which according to reviewers on YouTube, was one of the most underappreciated TV shows. I would say that it’s definitely not, but the writing of it was very neat. And in case you’re interested in watching it, you should know what you’re getting into: House of Five Leaves is about drama, and not about action at all despite the story takes place in the Edo period in Japan, where samurai is one of the main ways of life.

The narrative of the show was very slow, but it’s still fairly enjoyable as long as you’re not expecting it to be rushed from the first place. The soundtrack is very good. Despite there’s nothing happening on the screen, the background music always able to get me through the state of emotion that the story tries to convey. It gives me the Quentin Tarantino vibes, but without the action and the gore, and less complicated, and so much slower too.

And finally, I can say that I read mangas now.

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It’s not that I’ve never read manga before, but this is the first time I decided to read a manga and continue reading them as part of my hobby that I keep on track. Before, I’ve read the manga version of Kimi no Na wa., one or two volumes of Tokyo Ghoul, and also five volumes of the original Yu-Gi-Oh! for some reason. I’ve also read- but stopped and not able to continue reading Goodnight Punpun, because the story is so good at ruining my hope to continue living on —I was at the eight-volume, more precisely at chapter 89.

Now, I am reading Attack on Titan because I so cannot wait for the fourth and last season of the anime adaptation. The franchise has been praised a lot, and I’m expecting my head to be blown out by what’s going to be revealed by the manga. I heard the manga itself hasn’t finished publishing, which means this is the first time for a long time that I’m going to hop on a ride with everyone else while the series is still in the making.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about … well, usually I never watch an anime that’s still ongoing. I always wait for it to be finished airing, so I can watch the whole arc or season in one sitting. So, this is the first time I’m going to hop on a ride together with everyone else. But well, it’s not that this is going to be different from anything before.

Anyways, I’m reading manga now, and I’m starting with Attack on Titan.

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[ . . . ]

Thanks for the 50+ follows 🍻 cheeers!

It really is a lovely day, a little bit rainy but also a productive one. I did my laundry today, I cleaned my room, and do all the dishes, so I feel like I won’t regret if to sleep for 12 hours now. But I won’t, of course, haha … I wish I had more time to live each day.

Also before posting this, I’m going to create another category called A week in a journal 📕 which I don’t think I’ll be able to write on it every week, but I’m hoping just every now and then I could write some quick thoughts and probably hook you up to some interesting things that I did or found. I imagine it to be quite fun and chilling, and I hope writing this sort of thing can be some sort of useful for some people who read it.

More than that, I’m pretty happy that I managed to improve the overall design of this blog. 🦄 In my opinion, the blog now looks better than before, but I’m hoping that you guys will like it too.

Also while customizing my theme, I happen to listen to this podcast episode by the 99% Invisible and LAist. It’s a great episode, talks about some personal journey of the L.A.’s infamous Scared Straight program for graffiti-related crimes, and also a love story. Anyways, I liked listening to it, and so I thought I’d share it here with whoever you are that likes to listen to a podcast.

Anyways, it’s been quite efficient hours at my end, so I can wish you now have a lovely weekend, and I hope everything works according to your will at your end, too! As always, thank you very much for reading, I hope you enjoyed this journal; if you do, don’t forget to like the post, comment on it; and if you haven’t following the blog, please consider doing so.

Check out my Twitter 😘 too!

Have a lovely weekend, and I’ll see you again tomorrow! 🙋🏽‍♂️

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31 thoughts on “Wish I were Heather

  1. J’aime ce blog, son auteur(e) pour la qualité des textes, des médias, des graphismes, des maquettes. On serait dans une grande bande dessinée peut-être ?
    Le divertissement est total.
    Pour sourire et se détendre ce blog est parfait !

  2. J’aime beaucoup ce que vous écrivez, produisez avec de superbes médias fixes ou animés. Quel Talent !
    Bravo à vous pour ce très beau blog !

  3. Awww that song fits so well for rainy, cozy days! You are so productive, I’m inspired, I should do my laundry as well… Lovely aesthetic as usual! Enjoy your weekend~

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